And yet although I prefer happy me, I am anything but right now. Part of me wants to run away just for a couple of hours. Take a long drive like the one I took with Jackie back at Cedar Crest. But I don't know if I could keep myself from crying long enough to focus on the road. I want to talk to someone so badly, but there isn't a single person I know who I WANT to talk to. My head just keeps racing and all I want to do is run and run and run, but it's 1:30 in the morning and not time to run. I don't want to go to bed because I don't think I'll be able to fall asleep. I'm staying on the computer hoping to distract myself until I can finally pull myself together. I just don't know why I can't stop myself from thinking of the worst things about the best people. Sometimes I wish my mind just had an off switch.